ACTING OUT CRAP

 

The recent Robert De Zero press rant outside the Trump court case was hysterical.

Didn't know he did stand-up comedy..!!

GG

GAME FOR A LAUGH

 

I decided to get some action-packed sports books before the Olympic Games started.

GG

JUST TESTING

 

Someone hacked into a computer belonging to an optician...and found this..!!

GG

WEATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

 

It's most amusing to see a computer browser struggling to tell you where you are located and what the weather is like at your location when online.

99 times out of 100, they get my location wrong, many times referring to places I've never even heard of.

So letting me know what the weather is like at these locations is irrelevant.

Then on the rare days it gets my location correct, letting me know what the weather is like is also irrelevant.

If it tells me it's raining - I already know.

If it tells me it's foggy - yes, I already know.

If it tells me it's sunny - yes I know.

It's the equivalent of a stranger running up to you in the street in the middle of winter and telling you it's snowing.

YES I KNOW..!!

GG

CYBERSPACE SILLINESS

 

When you think of the amount of effort the so-called authorities have made to get the populace to not discriminate in society, they then go and invent a new law that makes it illegal to pay cash for rent.

Landlords are being forced to comply with a digital payments only rule.

Payment discrimination...!!

This seems to be regress rather than progress.

Remember long ago when there were signs in the windows of rooms to rent saying "No Blacks", "No Irish" etc.

Now they'll be putting up signs that say "No Cash".

GG

BLESS YOU!

 

Don't worry, it's just the common cold, not a fake virus..!!

GG

DO AS YOU ARE TOLD

 

Information being passed onto the public from authoritative sources, together with the public response, has a kind of pendulum effect, but at different speeds.

For example - a supposed pandemic.

Medics quickly report to government > government quickly report to media > media quickly report to public.

However, in the case of a pandemic false alarm, it is first reported by the public to a reluctant slow media > media report it to a reluctant slow government > government report it to reluctant slow medics.

Authoritative sources expect the public to accept as fact, what they are being told - yet the authorities can't accept as fact, what they are being told by the public.

It's as if the authorities are saying they are a different species to the public.!!

GG

SCOOP!

 

A very simple way to reduce crime.

GG

POLISH OFF YOUR MEAL

For people who bite their nails.

GG

SPREAD THE WORD

 

This "spreadable" stuff they sell in supermarkets.

I've not tried it because I don't know what it is.

The word "spreadable" only describes the viscosity, it doesn't inform you what the actual food product is.

Is it margarine, fat, butter, dip, cream, mayonnaise, icing, cheese...?

Would you buy something in a container that just had "edible" on it?

No, you'd want to know what's inside - it's edible what?

GG

MISTY EYED

 

I'm pretty sure tear gas is made from freshly cut onions.

GG

HOT MEAL

 

If ever you experience a phoenix rising out of your barbecue ashes this summer, the good news is you'll have ready-cooked breast or wing to choose from.

GG

CREATURES OF THE FUTURE

 

Will we reach a stage where natural evolution takes place after many generations of urban wildlife adapting to their new surroundings?

Gulls nesting in trees.

Foxes skate-boarding.

Stags running pubs....

GG

GONE FISHING

 

We all know that Japanese are big on Sushi, but I'm unsure if they indulge in little garden gnomes fishing like we do in UK.

If they do, perhaps theirs would end up as a display like this.

GG

KEEP OUT

 

What's up with nettles?

When we accidentally brush against them, they cover us in stinging bumps that lasts for hours.

If they could talk they would be saying "stay away from us or you will be punished".

But it is they who invade a garden uninvited.

Therefore that gives us the right to retaliate and punish them for trespassing - so out with the weed killer.

If they stayed in a more appropriate location, like waste ground away from a populace, then that would be fine. 

They would survive there OK and people could get on with their gardening.

GG

JUST SAY NO

 

Some people say cannabis has medicinal properties that are good for you.

But, continuing to fill your lungs with smoke isn't going to be beneficial to your respiratory system.

GG

SCARPER & SAVE

 

It makes more sense to drive away from a storm than drive into one.

You also don't need to buy lots of video recording equipment & satellite gear.

GG

STANDARD PROCEDURE

 

Although the idea of "standard sizes" is quite decent, it still isn't being presented properly.

Shoes are a good example - everyone knows that no matter what size of shoe you are, it depends on which brand you get as to which size fits.

Stationery can be inconsistent too.

A basic A4 sheet of paper often doesn't fit onto an A4 scanner because sometimes the paper is a touch too large and goes past the frame of the glass area.

At least those 2 examples haven't yet settled for the "one size fits all" concept, so that's something I suppose..!!

GG

WORD UP!

 

For the visitors who get lots of books from libraries on a regular basis, perhaps the libraries should offer to lend out reading glasses & book shelving as optional extras.

GG

PAINTING THE PRICE

 

I'm very fond of Bridget Riley's artwork - her most well known ones being the monochromatic stripes which were adopted by the 60's psychedelic music & fashion scene.
If however, later in life, she had chosen to paint the stripes as barcodes, she would have been able to sell her work more efficiently..!!

GG

ON LINE ART

 

When you have wet paint - just hang it out to dry.

GG

NO NEWS & NO QUEUES

 

Not much happening in the news at the moment, so a perfect time to do some online shopping.

GG

YELLOW PERIL

 

Smiley face has been around for decades.

It comes and goes in and out of style in music & fashion.

Nowadays of course, it's probably the most used emoji icon on computers & mobile phones.

It's cheery and upbeat, so people like it.

Yet even after all that, I bet medical experts today would determine that it has jaundice..!!

GG

SKIVING OFF

 

All these teenagers being manipulated into protesting at their Colleges in USA.

The police are then sent in to deal with it.

But it should be a job for truant officers to deal with.!

GG

SEEING IS BELIEVING

 

The police are too busy watching the petty crimes below them, that they can't see the real crimes above them.

GG

AS SIMPLE AS ABC

 

Picture this...

An office has an A-Z filing cabinet for keeping correspondence in alphabetical order.

Then one day, the boss tells the office workers that from now on, all correspondence for filing under letter "S", has to be filed in the "F" folder.

Everybody instantly knows that this is a false command, doesn't make any sense and would end up in a meaningless muddle, but the office workers do as they are told regardless.

The main thing is - everybody knows it is wrong, including the boss.

OK then...

So suppose a boss told a police force that from now the police have to arrest victims of crimes rather than arrest the criminal who perpetrated the crime.

Everybody instantly knows that this is a false command, doesn't make any sense and would end up in a meaningless muddle, but the police force do as they are told regardless.

The main thing is - everybody knows it is wrong, including the boss.

Final scenario...

What if the general public agreed to complain as well as peacefully protest about such police wrong-doings.

Using this false command logic issued by the boss, the police would have to arrest those complaining and clamp down on the peaceful protesters.

The main thing is - everybody knows it is wrong, including the boss.

GG

CREEPS CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH CRAP

 

We've all seen & heard people like this.

There are thousands of them around the globe.

Politicians,celebs, media experts,YouTubers, etc etc

So my speech bubble can now be considered a colostomy bag.

GG

ALL THE SAME SUIT

 

I've never owned a suit in my life and have never worn one.

I don't particularly like them and so they are not my chosen style of clothing to wear.

Same with cowboy hats and a few other items I'm not keen on.

I also don't have any real gripe about other individuals wearing such stuff - each to their own, as the saying goes.

However, guys dressed in suits, shirt & tie is such a common sight, especially in the corporate and political arena.

This dress-code display has been sold to the general public as being a "respectable" look.

When they are seen wearing these outfits en-masse though, you can tell they dress this way because they are being submissive to a concept, whether it be political, corporate, bureaucratic etc.

None of these suit wearers appear to be intelligent enough or manly enough to allow themselves to be themselves, so just end up looking like empty shells babbling hot air.

It's as if they've managed to trap themselves into believing this attire will give them a sense of superiority, and the suited look itself will be all that's required to shield them from the wrong decisions they make.

Their respectable suit advert used as visual deception.

But always remember this - these suited clones are where all the misery on the planet is derived from.

Respectable?

Ha..what a joke!!

GG

STOOPING TO DUPING

 

It's curious how people often assume that when someone dupes another person, they must be cleverer and superior to the person who has been duped.

I view the situation in the exact opposite way.

If someone has to resort to duping a person, it means they don't have the capacity to communicate correctly.

Deception isn't communication, therefor it's an interactive self defeat.

When a person inadvertantly makes a wrong choice as a consequence of not knowing they are being duped, that isn't confirmation of inferiority.

If people can't communicate using facts, then they are the ones who are dim and inferior.

GG

FOR CHARITY?

 

Decades and decades of High Street charities and high profile fund-raising events we have contributed to.
But how many of them have gone on to actually solve the problems the appeals champion, in such a way that the problems no longer exist?
The answer is probably not many, or even more likely, none.
What they do appear to have solved however, is making sure that the appeals organisers get a decent salary & lifestyle out of it.

GG

BBC TV FEE

Wonder why the BBC doesn't give any acknowledgement to those who made their programming possible in the end credits of each TV show?

They list writers, actors, lighting, music, producers etc etc but they don't give any credit to their backers.

Every programme they make should carry the wording "Financed By The British Public".

But instead of this recognition of public money paying for their programming and their exaggerated salaries, they hunt the public down and punish them like criminals, if a pensioner doesn't pay their licence fee for example.

Not a very professional business transaction, is it?

GG